For most of my life, I've been a rather clinically detached person.  Not necessarily cold, but even-keeled, emotionally speaking.  I've been in a pretty reflective state lately.  Today I'm reflecting on whether that detachment is a defense mechanism because I'm actually hypersensitive.

That's a pretty massive shift in personal perspective for someone like me.  It puts many decisions throughout my life in question and leaves me pondering the implications, both good and bad, of tearing down such emotional ramparts.

Revenge is a dish best served old… with a cane or walker, perhaps. The liver has spots.

Alright… Where am I?

More from Stephen King: On Writing.

King describes his first hangover, obtained during a high school trip to NYC… I know that generally, the hangover or comedown from any chemical imbibing is the side-effect of basically poisoning ones body to achieve an altered consciousness. 

That said, in the pseudo-science hippy-fantasyland I call my mind, I ponder, how cool would it be if the comedown was basically the turbulent reentry of your consciousness back into it's stable electron orbit, after being rocket through a chemical hadron collider?

 Same experience, kookier metaphor.

Was hanging out with old friend who tends to be the source of my most “interesting” conversations. I think I might need to start a feature called “Conversations with Josh.”

“…Josh, I Think You're highly overestimating the aphrodisiac powers of cannibalism.”

Listened to two comic creator interviews a while back. An episode of John Siuntres’ Word Balloon, featuring Greg Rucka ( http://wordballoon.blogspot.com/2011/11/rob-liefeld-speaks-out-and-rucka.html ) and the C.C. Beck Shop Talk interview bonus feature on the Will Eisner DVD: Portrait of a Sequential Artist, ( http://montillapictures.com/ )

I found it interesting that the writer, Rucka, wished to god he had the ability to draw, reminding listeners that comic books are and have always been a visual medium.

In the C.C. Beck interview, he’s of the opinion that artwork is secondary and should always take a back seat to the story itself.  When people think back on the great comic stories they love, it’s “The Story” that they remember, not the drawings.

I find it interesting that both creators would have such opposing views, but a positive view of their creative counterparts.  I’m a writer/artist, so I look at it like, “Can’t have one, without the other.”

http://spinoff.comicbookresources.com/2012/05/16/fox-passes-on-the-punisher/

Just read that ABC is passing on developing Marvel’s Jessica Jones (Alias) series and FOX passed on Punisher. I’d love to see Marvel Studios produce a 4-6 episode season, like Walking Dead, season one. They could go straight to Netflix/VOD distribution and KILL! As long as they bring in quality work on a tight budget, there’s no reason they couldn’t just produce it themselves. After a ridiculous Avengers opening, you’d think networks would be killing themselves to get a piece of Marvel.

I'm working on a way to resolve my tendency to write these grand epic stories, and the need to actually put out work more frequently.  

The current scheme that popped into my head is to take the spine of a novel-length concept and whittle it down to a densely packed short story.  24-48 page comic. Depending on how well received the short story is, all the stuff that would have existed in a 100-200 page graphic novel can be written as one–shot stories that flesh out the world the main story takes place in.  

Not a novel concept.  It's pretty much what Top Cow is doing with Pilot Season, but it will be an interesting exercise to reformat some of my existing ideas into this structure.

In the quest to write/draw/publish comics, I've cut out more and more personal hobbies.  I watch fewer movies, read fewer books (a BIG problem for a writer), cut off video games, don't travel much, and haven't picked up my guitar in over a year.  I feel like I'm starting to lose myself a bit.  Whittling away all the other quirks and interests that make up who I am.  Obviously not healthy.  It's the same as a comic book artist who ONLY looks at comic as their source of reference and inspiration aesthetically.  Everyone needs balance.  Everyone needs to step away from the drawing board / computer… recharge, renew, re-inspire. It's the same for any workaholic… doctors, lawyers, management, salesmen.  You can't let your work consume you. 

…And yet.

That begs the question.  How does one achieve their goals when even a modicum of success requires a grueling Bataan-death-march level of labor? It's easy to say "Everyone needs a break and a healthy work/life balance"  but it butts heads with "Fame costs… and right here's where you start paying… in sweat."

Here I am. Alone at the edge of the universe. And the only sound I can hear…  Is the beating of your heart.