The Burleigh Identity

After reading some more of Mike Birbiglia's Sleepwalk with me, I'm reflecting on my own life and the fact that I don't feel like I have that many events in my life that are story-worthy.  At least not in early life.  In recent years, late twenties/early thirties, more so, but not by a tremendous amount.  It's almost as if I didn't exist up to now.  Like Matt Damon floating face down in the water in the opening sequence of The Bourne Identity.

I'm certainly not a Tabla Rasa, but in a conceptual way, I could conceive of my life beginning right now, at this exact moment.  I'm a fully formed person with skills, traits, and certain tastes, but I can almost see myself as a man with no past. Or at least a past that wouldn't stand in the way of reinventing myself if I choose.

Unplugged

I used to have a relentless Terminator-like focus on whatever was in front of me… art, literature, design, human interaction.  It seems to have gradually slipped away in recent years.  I think I may have done it to myself.

With long hours at the drawing board, in front of the computer, or commuting, I longed for some sort of entertainment.  I've given up a lion's share of my TV/Movie watching, Gaming, and other pleasant distractions, in order to make comics and artwork.  I started listening to Podcasts, and found that they were a perfect fit for my creative lifestyle.  Helped me catch up on news, learn more about history, science, and business, or just share in passionate discussions about art, creativity, and storytelling.

But the number of shows I listen to has continued to creep upward and my interests expand and flit from subject to subject.  Soon I had a massive queue of shows that I felt obliged to listen to.  You live long enough with a persistent stream of voices in your head, even if YOU put them there, and it will eventually effect your concentration.

To that end, I've decided to unplug for at least one work day a week, just to see what happens.

I've already noticed that I have difficulty blocking out the office conversations around me, which is another important function.  I know that I could just switch to music, however, that has it's own semi-hypnotic effects as well.  Part of this experiment is to see what happens when I stop suppressing my own thoughts with an audio deluge and let my mind run.

Addendum:
apparently I turn into a raging asshole and snap at my co-workers when I can’t shut out the rest of the world.  Maybe I was just having a bad day.  Maybe.

"It gets better…"

There's an elementary school at the end of the block I work on. I like to go for short walks in the afternoon to give my eyes a rest from the computer screen and get a little sunlight. As I passed the school today, A woman walked out, with a young crying girl comforted under her arm.  Not just tears on her face.  Low-but-audible ten-year-old sobbing.

At that moment, I was moved. 

I'm sure whatever was making her cry that hard must have felt like the end of the world.  We've all been there. "It will be ok, whatever it is" I wanted to tell her, kneeling down and looking her in the eye. "Things get better."

"… Then they get much worse.  But for a while, they do get better."

Pretty little trees

I worry about myself sometimes, when I have to go back and look at previous pages to remember how I draw certain things… Not characters.  Stuff like trees.

Polarity Shift

Listening to the Skepticality Podcast and reading Paranormailty by Richard Wiseman has changed the way I read non-fiction books.

Now I'm parsing and skimming more.  Trying to cut through the fluff (and there's a lot of it) and get to the actual information I'm interested in.  And questioning more…

Is this something I agree/believe in?
Is my agreement/disagreement based on my personal cognitive biases? (we all have them)
Do the ideas/arguments presented warrant further investigation?

Lately, I find it interesting to examine ideas I disagree with, but make compelling arguments. Everyone needs a good polarity shift now and then.